That question crossed my mind last night as my husband and I listened to the veterinarian after he showed us the chest ex-rays of our toy poodle, Suzette, one of our "little lambs". Suzette had been diagnosed the day before with heart problems, specifically, mitral valve prolapse. Her condition throughout Saturday deteriorated to the point that in the early evening she had become listless and suddenly stopped breathing. Some CPR on our part brought her back. Hence, the emergency visit to the vet's office...which nearly never happened because it was almost impossible to get through to someone who could contact the vet, any vet.
So there we were, a little while later, chatting with the doctor about Suzette's ex-rays and all that was going on with the visit up to that point when, Suzette, who was being held by my husband and had been reasonable alert, let out two very strong, sharp, almost high-pitched, barks: ARF!...ARF! Well, well, Roger and I wondered. What brought that on? There was nothing going on in the room that we could see that would warrant such vocalization. Yet, just as with a very weak and sickly child you are always glad to hear a good cry, so we were pleased to hear to good strong "ARF" because it told us that her lungs were still strong. At least for the moment. As we could see no apparent reason for the enthusiastic outburst I suddenly felt an impression that, perhaps, our Suzette was able to see something, or someone, we could not.
These situations are never pleasant to experience, when a loved one or beloved pet is close to death, but I am grateful for the calm, peaceful feelings that attend me when I am in one of them. I am always and immediately thankful to God for His benevolence in moments like this, because just a few minutes later, we nearly lost Suzette a second time in the same evening. In fact, this time, it seemed as though she would not be revived when the vet and his assistant took Suzette out of the room to try other methods of resuscitation. Mind you, the entire family is very attached to our little poodle, but Roger especially so. As such, he was finding it nearly impossible to keep his composure. Sometimes the ol' "stiff upper lip" just evaporates.
And sometimes, whether we want to or not, whether we are ready to or not, we have to be prepared to let go. Roger neither wanted to nor was he ready to. I can't say that I felt any different, especially since Roger had, on my birthday, presented Suzette to me when she was just a tiny puppy. She is now 13 years old (91 in dog years) but the calm feeling prevailed. I honestly was expecting that episode to have been the little five-pound poodle's final moments, but the vet and his assistant returned with Suzette, whom they had managed to retain. The vet reviewed with us the medications Suzette should take, but reminded us that all these measures would not "fix" her problem. He had done all he could do for her. The medicine could help make her more comfortable if she responded to them, but nothing more. He could only guess how much time she had left...minutes, hours, days?? He personally guessed she had minutes. While he could "put her to sleep", he encouraged us to take her home. I thought we should too, but my husband wanted to make no decisions, other than one: he would not be the one to sign her death warrant to put her to sleep.
We brought Suzette home, not knowing if she would even last out the ride. She did, and lasted through the night, and well into today. It is now April 1st, April Fool's Day, and while Suzette is showing marked improvement from last night, we are not fooled into believing she will be her ol' self again. With the knowledge that when that unsought-for moment comes it will come fast, we are bracing ourselves for the inevitable grief that follows.
It also happens to be Palm Sunday, the start of the final week that leads up to Easter, which brings me to the second lamb, the Lamb of God. I personally believe that not only will mankind be resurrected, but that animals will as well. After all, God is responsible for all of creation in the heavens above and in the earth below. Is anything impossible to God? When we are reunited with family after death, I like to think that all our beloved pets will be there to rejoice with us and continue on by our side. Right now, we are at Suzette's side, unsure of how long she will be with us, but with the sure knowledge of God in His heaven and the gift of the resurrection through His son Jesus Christ, how can we think that she will not be by our sides again one day?
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